.

Today was the first. Hoping it won’t happen again
Heart pounding fast without any reason why
Somehow it made me felt harder to breathe
And it made me choke and tear up
I felt nauseous and feel like throwing up

Was it really the first? I can’t remember.

It was painful.
It was the feeling of fear without any reason
It was sickening


The past days had not been easy
I truly believe the reason i’m trapped in all of this is to help the others
Although i know doing it equals to exposing myself to next attack

This is normal, they said
More than half of people are having this, they said
So who am i to say i am having harder time than the others?