[Conflicts in Making Career Path Decision?]
back in school, i didnt know what i wanted to be. every time people asked about my ambition, i simply answered with whatever i thought was cool.
"a doctor?"
but that was during primary school. entering maahad, i crazily joined a bunch of things which make me interested in a looott of field. but one thing was for sure, i disliked science. even when making decision for science course(?) during form 4, it was my parents' suggestion.
near spm, my choice was divided into two. not close, but not completely unrelated.
doctor, vs engineering.
biology, or physics.
me who hated science at first, was having a tie to choose which one i disliked less. i love to think. i love to speak. but i hate memorizing. that was why biology was never my fav, and math, physics were on top of my list. i love to learn, but not keeping them in mind
after spm, i received a lot of offers to further studies in oversea, for engineering.
HAH! exactly what i wanted. (doh nama pun anak engineers)
but somehow, thinking of my parents who kept hinting on me to be their only hope to have a doctor in the family, i kept going back and forth. of course, they didnt say it directly. they didnt force me. but their actions, of course, i know...
to make up my mind, i decided to wait for SPM result. which subject's grade is higher? then i will follow that path. as expected, i got A+ for physics but only A for biology.
ah, this must be the sign, i said to myself
but it was not.
few weeks later, one by one offers came in. among them, 4 were for engineering, and 2 were for dentistry(which i chose only for fun). one of them is engineering in South Korea. i was super and more than excited about it - i searched and talked to seniors there, googling till the end about experiences, digging up more than what i should
however..... mom and dad didn't allow me.
i was more than frustrated. but i didnt give up.
i felt it would be a waste if i didnt fight till the end.
however things kept coming in and made the things bigger than what it should
i was having a very hard time. honestly, only Allah knows what i felt. it was one of my lowest point in my life, and i couldnt forget until now.
even until the day of admission for the korean program passed,
i locked myself in the room, i bawled my eyes out, my mom did too
i was conflicted, i wanted to follow my own wish
but never would i go against my parents' words, as they were and will always be my source of barakah
i was left with the only choice - to pursue Dentistry in IIUM kuantan.
on the day of admission, there was not a single bit of sincere feeling in my heart
"i am forced here!!"
i wanted to tell everyone. but of course, it only echoed in my heart
i didnt focus in class, i acted on my own, i thought a lot.
and i looked up at the sky the most
why was it always cloudy?
.
.
.
who would have thought, the me who never had any intention and passion in dentistry,
is now doing very well in her degree 2nd year?
who would have thought, the one who once did everything it takes to run away from biology,
is now learning and practicing 100% biology in her career?
indeed, Allah's plan is the best. everytime i thought about how far i have come, the things that i went through, it just made me felt loved.
i am always loved by Allah.
He always help me, for the things that i dont know
He is the one, who loves me more than anyone could.
dad and mom, they are the best parents i could ever have
just watching them can make me cry, i am too lucky, too lucky to have them
(ah i actually cried while writing this)
my hope is always to see them happy. i hurt them a lot, i couldnt promise myself to be the best daughter
but everyday, i'm trying to
up until now, i love watching the sky
whether i'm sad, depressed, or too grateful
somehow, it smiles a lot to me
it makes me feel accompanied, then and now.
back in school, i didnt know what i wanted to be. every time people asked about my ambition, i simply answered with whatever i thought was cool.
"a doctor?"
but that was during primary school. entering maahad, i crazily joined a bunch of things which make me interested in a looott of field. but one thing was for sure, i disliked science. even when making decision for science course(?) during form 4, it was my parents' suggestion.
near spm, my choice was divided into two. not close, but not completely unrelated.
doctor, vs engineering.
biology, or physics.
me who hated science at first, was having a tie to choose which one i disliked less. i love to think. i love to speak. but i hate memorizing. that was why biology was never my fav, and math, physics were on top of my list. i love to learn, but not keeping them in mind
after spm, i received a lot of offers to further studies in oversea, for engineering.
HAH! exactly what i wanted. (doh nama pun anak engineers)
but somehow, thinking of my parents who kept hinting on me to be their only hope to have a doctor in the family, i kept going back and forth. of course, they didnt say it directly. they didnt force me. but their actions, of course, i know...
to make up my mind, i decided to wait for SPM result. which subject's grade is higher? then i will follow that path. as expected, i got A+ for physics but only A for biology.
ah, this must be the sign, i said to myself
but it was not.
few weeks later, one by one offers came in. among them, 4 were for engineering, and 2 were for dentistry(which i chose only for fun). one of them is engineering in South Korea. i was super and more than excited about it - i searched and talked to seniors there, googling till the end about experiences, digging up more than what i should
however..... mom and dad didn't allow me.
i was more than frustrated. but i didnt give up.
i felt it would be a waste if i didnt fight till the end.
however things kept coming in and made the things bigger than what it should
i was having a very hard time. honestly, only Allah knows what i felt. it was one of my lowest point in my life, and i couldnt forget until now.
even until the day of admission for the korean program passed,
i locked myself in the room, i bawled my eyes out, my mom did too
i was conflicted, i wanted to follow my own wish
but never would i go against my parents' words, as they were and will always be my source of barakah
i was left with the only choice - to pursue Dentistry in IIUM kuantan.
on the day of admission, there was not a single bit of sincere feeling in my heart
"i am forced here!!"
i wanted to tell everyone. but of course, it only echoed in my heart
i didnt focus in class, i acted on my own, i thought a lot.
and i looked up at the sky the most
why was it always cloudy?
.
.
.
who would have thought, the me who never had any intention and passion in dentistry,
is now doing very well in her degree 2nd year?
who would have thought, the one who once did everything it takes to run away from biology,
is now learning and practicing 100% biology in her career?
indeed, Allah's plan is the best. everytime i thought about how far i have come, the things that i went through, it just made me felt loved.
i am always loved by Allah.
He always help me, for the things that i dont know
He is the one, who loves me more than anyone could.
dad and mom, they are the best parents i could ever have
just watching them can make me cry, i am too lucky, too lucky to have them
(ah i actually cried while writing this)
my hope is always to see them happy. i hurt them a lot, i couldnt promise myself to be the best daughter
but everyday, i'm trying to
up until now, i love watching the sky
whether i'm sad, depressed, or too grateful
somehow, it smiles a lot to me
it makes me feel accompanied, then and now.
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